Today has been a day of contrasts.
This morning we were steeling ourselves for 4 hours of stuffing leaflets into letter boxes in Portsmouth. It is Slimming World’s end of summer promotion, and Michelle had arranged for me, the kids and some of their friends to carpet bomb the letter boxes of Copnor with leaflets advertising her Slimming World sessions. Unfortunately the weather thought differently; it was bogging it down this morning in Pompey, interspersed with slightly less damp periods. I don’t mind being out in the rain; after all there are many types of foul weather clothing which will keep one dry. The problem is the leaflets. It doesn’t matter how you store them, at some point they will be required to be exposed to the elements and in ‘standard British bogging it down’ weather they get wet very quickly. Some people don’t like ‘junk’ mail coming through their letter box and indeed they put up notices informing itinerant leaflet and newspaper posters of this point of view. Others don’t mind and will either have a look or just put them into the recycling bin. I think that most people, however, would object to wet papier maché being deposited on their hall carpet.
We waited an hour but the weather didn’t let up, so we came home again. Leafleting was postponed until tomorrow.
This left me at somewhat of a loose end. I watched the British Touring Car championship racing and a bit of golf. After lunch the weather started to pick up and, eventually, at about 3.30 I went off to play golf.
When I arrived the sky was mainly blue with a few fluffy white clouds and a fine afternoon’s golfing was in store. Apparently. Unfortunately nobody told my inner golfer and he proceeded to play in Maurice Flitcroft mode.
I shot 11 on the first hole. The second was better with a 7 but the third was a complete disaster; a lost ball from the tee. The next tee shot went straight into the bunker in front of the green. I say bunker; it looked more like Langstone Harbour when the tide had just gone out. I improved slightly on the fourth but reverted to type on the next 2 holes.
I sort of improved again over the next few holes even managing a one over par 5 on the eleventh. Coming up next was my nemesis hole, the twelfth. Normally I score 9 or over on this hole, but on Thursday I managed a 5. Today, the tee shot went straight but not too far and into the first cut rough. My second only went about 100 yards. I practiced the next shot many times as I waited for the green to clear. I was over 150 yards out. The ball flew up into the air exactly where I aimed it and came to rest 4 feet from the hole. I was on the green for 3! This had never happened before. I had a simple putt to par the hole. I lined up the shot; the green appeared to show a left to right bias so I aimed slightly left. The ball rolled towards the hole with perfect weight and turned left to right as predicted, and then sat there to the right of the hole, right on the edge mocking me. A monstrous laugh seemed to emanate from each of its little white dimples; a cacophony of evil mockery. Bastard! Still, another 5 on this hole was good and I felt like Jeff from the Money Supermarket ad on the telly.
I finished my round on the par 3 thirteenth with a 5. The shock of the previous hole had gone to my head and I took 4 putts. I now felt like Jeff after he asked his wife if she had seen him surfing.
Tomorrow is leafleting; unfortunately the weather looks like it’ll be ok. There may be good news; however, I should get my car back. With any luck I might also get a reply to one of the 11 jobs I’ve applied for; and the Fairway Fairies will help me go round in under 80.
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