It only took one day

I am now gainfully employed again.

I have returned to work with a company that I've worked for twice before, and will now be back in the print industry as a Commissioning Engineer. The first three weeks will be spent training on old kit; which I've forgotten about, and also on the new kit. It's good to be back in an industry I've been involved with for nearly 25 years.

There is a side effect however, well two actually. I will be staying in hotels, a lot. This means eating in restaurants and pubs. It will take a great deal of will power to stay off the beer but it will be worth it, and also difficult to find food I can eat but keep within slimming guidelines.

Weight gain is one side effect which I will try and reverse but the second side effect has manifested itself after only one day. I speak of CEA, that is Commissioning Engineer's Arse! This is the bain of the CE's life and hit me this morning. Last night I went for a curry and had one with quite a few chillies; this morning the chillies reappeared rapidly and with malice.I was extremely glad that the extract fan in the bathroom was working at maximum efficiency

Tonight I will go for a Chinese, but I think I'll give the Szechuan section a miss.


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Location:Milton Keynes,United Kingdom

Sam Snead's Shoes

Ross came back from Guernsey on Saturday morning.

He's been fitting a new kitchen at his ex wife's house, and came home for a few days. This meant that on Monday morning we set off to play golf. He was still working hard when Karen (the ex) checked and found that he was on an earlier ferry than he thought, so he rushed around chucking his stuff in the van, including the golf clubs. It was only when he was safely ensconced in his cabin and at sea, that he realised that he had left his golf shoes in Guernsey!

No problem, he could call into Portsmouth golf centre and buy a new pair. But what to buy, he already had a black pair and a brown pair, and not being the type who wears trainers, he was left with little choice, and so opted for a pair of white shoes with fake crocodile saddles.

It was with these shoes he appeared at my house early on Monday morning. They were positively glowing in their newness; indeed I suggested that, should we lose any balls in the undergrowth, they could act as spotlights to help illuminate the search.

On arrival we saw that the car park was full and that a large group of senior members were about to go out en masse. We repaired to the bar and partook of coffee and bacon butties. After this, we tried a few practice swings on the range and some putting practice. It was a reasonably fine day (so far) but windy. This was to have a large effect on our game but on the first it wasn't too bad. I did, however put my second shot over the hedge dividing the first and eighteenth fairways taking 2 shots to get back to the right hole. We finished with an 8 for me and a 7 for Ross.

For me the second was a slight disaster, I lost a ball in the undergrowth on the right and took a penalty drop. My next shot put me over the other side of the fairway, leaving a difficult shot to get through the gap. After I had taken this shot and walked forward I noticed a ball on the fairway, looking around I realised that someone on the tee box had taken his tee shot without waiting for me to clear the fairway or to be invited through. This is against all golf etiquette, but I ignored it and carried on. In the meantime Ross played his second shot down the seventeenth as his tee shot had landed beautifully in the centre of that hole's fairway. I finished on an 8 for that hole and I think Ross made par. I made par myself on the next but then made a double bogey on the fourth. By now we had caught up with old chaps in front of us and so we had to wait on every hole; we didn't mind too much though as the banter was good and we were enjoying ourselves. I don't think the 2 chaps behind we're too happy though and the incident on the second wasn't going to be the last. On the sixth Ross made par again and I holed out for 2 over. We weren't playing slowly by any means and so I was slightly miffed when a ball nearly hit me as I walked off the green. There was no warning shout and the 2 chaps just carried on as if nothing had happened.

There were no further instances on the next few holes, but we we're still having to wait for the chaps in front of us; though apparently that was our fault.

My front 9 finished with a 56; making a score of under 100 unlikely, though I might achieve sub 110. Ross, however, was flying. His front 9 finished with a 43. He was determined to break 90 and this was a good start. The shoes were having an effect. Some readers may remember a comic strip in Scorcher, and then Tiger, called 'Billy's Boots'; where a young lad finds a very old pair of football boots which used to belong to a brilliant footballer. The boots are imbued with magical powers allowing Billy to play like the previous owner. Thus it is with Ross's new golf shoes. As the round progressed, and Ross's golf got better and more consistent, we realised these were no ordinary shoes and must have once belonged to a golfing grand master. These were Sam Snead's Shoes, and that's not easy to say three times quickly!

The back 9 was relatively uneventful, I did have a disaster on the sixteenth, but otherwise not too bad. I finished on 59 making a grand total of 115. Considering I've been lucky to be sub 140 lately, that was a very pleasing score. Ross was pushing for his sub 90, and after seventeen holes he was on 84. No pressure going onto the par 4 eighteenth then. Would the power of the shoes desert him or would they help him break the mythical 90 barrier? His tee shot went straight down the fairway, leaving an easy shot onto the green. He now had 3 putts to achieve his goal. The first just missed the hole from 25 feet out. Unfortunately it carried on for a few feet, no gimme at all. The second putt fell short but he sank the third to finish the round on 89! Sam's shoes had done the trick.

As I started walking towards the hole after my second shot, a golf ball landed just behind me, again no warning was issued. Then, as we walked off the green, both of the 'gentlemen' behind started shouting and gesticulating at us to move way. This really was the final straw and Ross was extremely annoyed. The 2 gentlemen don't know how close they came to having to retrieve one of Sam Snead's Shoes from their respective lower intestines. That would have impaired their golf somewhat.

There was no excuse for their behaviour whatsoever. It has to be said their attitude is completely at odds with the rest of the members we have met. I hope they never have the good fortune to find a pair of Sam's shoes, indeed I hope they find Maurice Flitcfroft's hat, that'll stuff them!

For me, alas, I fear that may have been my final round of the year at the club. I can only hope that next year I am able to get home and play a bit, though a full membership would not be good value for money.

Next Monday I start my new job, I will bring news from the world of work and, hopefully, some far flung golf courses.

I may have to get my own pair of magical golf shoes.


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Location:At home in bed

A suitable car to carry my clubs.

No golfie again this week.

I have been extremely busy; with no time to go to the club or even to the range for a bit of practice. I have been preparing for my new job, well I've been perusing the net for cars as I will be getting a company car. I have a certain monthly rental budget, but as of yet I don't know what this will stretch too with the leasing company that my company uses. I have found a site which will give me an idea of what would be available and I also have a site to work out the company car tax.

My criteria for the car are that; it must have Bluetooth and the boot must be big enough to accommodate 2 sets of golf clubs and trolleys; or a suitcase, a large bag of tools and a set of golf clubs. I have simple needs.

The choice would appear to be either an estate car or a 4x4. There aren't many fourbies that would be big enough and within budget, although I did find one 2wd version of a fourby which would not only be within budget, but come fully loaded with Bluetooth, sat nav, rear parking sensors and camera, auto headlights and auto windscreen wipers. I'm not sure how big the boot is so a trip to the dealer is in order. They also do an estate car with the same spec. The company car tax is reasonable too!

There are another couple of manufacturers I'm considering so I will be lining up some test drives and testing the load spaces with golf clubs.

I have also purchased an iPad 2 as has Michelle. This may appear a little on the extravagant side, but as my new job will mean me be away from home for long periods, we can talk to each other on FaceTime, thus saving our phone bills.

It also means I can carry on blogging as I have done so today. The nature of the blog may change slightly, but I will try to keep it about golf as I intend to play as much golf or go to as many practice ranges as I can.

This should widen my golfing experience; allowing me to play lots of different courses. I shall of course, dear reader, keep you fully informed of my progress, or, more likely, lack of progress.

In the meantime I shall endeavour to play as much as I within the next 2 weeks. Now where did I put those car brochures.. er golf clubs?

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Location:Bradshaw's Ln,Southport,United Kingdom

Basking in the late September Sunshine

The last few days have been glorious. The weather has been fantastic and the temperature has been in the late 20’s with not a cloud in the sky.

Friday morning Ross and I went up to the club early. When we left the sky was clear and it was going to be yet another fantastic day. As we travelled north through the South Downs the other side was covered in fog. This was not a problem as it would quickly burn off. We arrived at 8.45 and sat in the bar with mugs of coffee; waiting for the fog to lift enough for us to see. After half an hour there was enough visibility to knock a few balls on the range. We hit 20 balls each and then proceeded to the first tee. It was still foggy but we could see far enough to tee off.  I scored a creditable 2 over on this long par 5 and Ross actually made par. The second hole then beckoned as the fog lifted and the course was bathed in glorious sunshine. Alas as the fog lifted my golf game saw freedom and disappeared with the fog; only to be seen occasionally running across random fairways as the round progressed.

The heat was oppressive; it was so warm I was convinced that my golf clubs had turned into soft mints and that was why I couldn’t hit anything. The holes went by and I just couldn’t make any decent shots. On the plus side I was putting well, there were only a couple of occasions where I took more than 2 putts and they were on holes that I had given up on and couldn’t care less. The ice hockey practice made its appearance yet again; fortunately only for a very brief time after which it decided that the weather wasn’t really conducive so retreated back into the shade. 

We completed the round, Ross scoring 101 and I scored 133 which, considering I was on target for well over 140, was a minor miracle. The bar called loudly and so, with much alacrity we went into the clubhouse.  There is a wonderful view from the bar terrace; the eighteenth fairway and hole and the whole of the fourteenth. There were still no clouds and the course was looking magnificent; which is why we were perplexed as to why it was so empty. We saw no-one for about half an hour, before a foursome appeared from over the hill walking down the eighteenth fairway, and then another four started the fourteenth. These were the only people we saw, so we decided to do a few more holes.

The first 2 holes were good, I managed a 6 on both; unfortunately previous form returned on the third. The fourth hole is interesting. The fairway is wide but lies at 90 degrees to the green; which is off to the right down a hill. It is possible to drive the green so, for the first time in months, I took out the driver. My tee shot started left and then faded right; it wasn’t a slice, and finished 20 yards for the green. I thinned the chip and shot off the far edge of the green, the following shots were not good. We moved swiftly to the fifth and I scored 4 on this par 3.

Our final hole was the sixth. This is the hardest hole on the course; a railway line runs to the right of the hole and half way up the left hand edge of the fairway is a lake. My golf game had obviously tired in the heat and decided to relax by the lake and watch the ducks and moorhens. It saw me approach the tee and hitched a lift in my bag. I took out the driver again. It only went 230 yards but did finish in the middle of the fairway. A wayward second left me 70 yards out; the resulting chip leaving me a 10 foot putt for par. I didn’t make it but was very pleased with a final 5.

By now we were exhausted so we walked back to the club house and went home. It had been a mixed day; the weather was fantastic but the golf awful for the most part. It was a day where the golf didn’t matter, it was just for enjoying the weather and the countryside, and in that it was a roaring success. I took away many positives but it may be the last chance for a game this year as the weather will turn soon. 

There is another reason why I may not get out again; I have a new job! I start on the 24^th of October and it will mean working away from home. It’s a really good job; I’ve worked for the company twice before and I enjoy it, however it means travelling both home and abroad so the opportunities for golfing at my home club will be limited. I will, however, put some clubs in the car and try and play wherever I’m based.

 A new chapter is about to start in my life but I hope my golf game will like travelling and go with me. 

It can send some postcards.