Sunday Roast

Sunday was hot, very hot. This was not going to deter me though and a golfing I did go.

This time, however, Michelle came with me. She decided she needed to try and play and see if she could use her golf shoes with inserts. As I said in an earlier post, the problem is she cannot wear flat shoes at all; she had developed tendonitis and needs to wear wedge shaped shoes. We did find a company on line which could hand make orthotic shoes; with inserts starting at £38. We thought that this was going to cost a bit but as Michelle really wanted to play it made sense to get custom shoes. She phoned them up and made an appointment. The company is based in a small shop in London and as the said appointment was during the Easter Holidays we decided to make a day of it and took Matt, Holly and my mum with us. 

There was a nice café a couple of doors away from the shop; so Michelle went to get measured whilst the rest of us popped into the café for a drink. I had just finished my coffee when she came back. ‘That was quick’ I said. ‘Yes’, Michelle replied, ‘I‘ve decided I don’t really want them’. She then proceeded to tell us what had occurred. Apparently it takes three months and many fittings to make a pair of shoes, so Michelle decided she needed a good pair of orthotic sandals before golf shoes. The lady started to take measurements and casually asked if Michelle understood how much it would cost. We had figured that a pair of handmade shoes would probably be about £350 but as they would last forever would be worth it. Unfortunately we had underestimated somewhat and were staggered to find that the sandals alone would cost in excess of £1700. That would pay for golf membership for both of us; bugger knows what the golf shoes would have cost, we could have probably added our Pompey season tickets in. 

A hasty retreat to Covent Garden was made where Michelle picked up 2 pairs of low wedge sandals for £35 each.  For £1700 she could have opened her own shoe shop.

I digress, back to Sunday. The golf shoes started to hurt on the practice range so a switch to wedges was made. We had also hired a buggy; which took the pressure off a bit but she still found the going heavy. After 5 holes Michelle was in trouble so for the next few she chauffeured me in the buggy. She did manage to play 9 & 10 but by this time we were both suffering from the heat so decided to head for the clubhouse.

The weather was sunny and hot; my golf was like a wet weekend but I enjoyed going round with Michelle; we don’t often get the chance to be on our own and it made a pleasant change just to be together.  I did manage to hit some good tee shots and even got a 5 on the 6^th; something of an achievement as it’s the hardest hole on the course. Michelle managed some good shots but it was very evident she hadn’t played for some time. There is an American company which does wedge golf shoes so we’ll have to invest in a pair of those and get her out practicing more.

Next time I hope the weather and my golf can meet in the middle somewhere, exchange pleasantries and leave me to enjoy the walk.

It's a mental game golf; it'll drive you nuts.

I suppose by now I should be considered ‘an improving’ player. Unless regularly failing to hit the ball at all or putting it straight into impenetrable rough can be considered improving; then, alas, I am an un-improving player or, more precisely, a regressing player.

My last 18 hole round wasn’t too bad but Ross and I went out for 10 holes the other evening and it was truly horrendous. I started off with my best ever tee shot on the first; the ball actually went straight and finished on the fairway nearly at the top of the hill.  From there I took another 5 shots to reach the green and two putts to hole out. The second was much worse. I did manage some decent tee shots but most of the rest of my game was horrible; including the putting.

I just couldn’t get my stance right. On the tee I would try and get myself into a position which felt the same every time but the result was different each time; including taking a 5 inch divot a foot behind the ball. By the end of the round I was thinking it would be easy to get round using a snooker cue. I also had thoughts of trying something easier; like bomb disposal. My wife had said she would buy me a custom set of golf clubs for my 50^th birthday but by the end of our 10 holes I was seriously considering asking her not to bother.  Should you have asked me a year ago whether I would be bothered by a bad round I would have laughed; I didn’t really care, as long as I was out on the course and enjoying the company. A bad round, actually several bad rounds have upset me.

We left the club and proceed to the pub for a pint. I walked up to the bar to order and bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen for about 8 years. He was with a friend of his so introductions were made and the four of us spent a pleasant hour nattering and talking tosh. By the time we left I was feeling much better, my perspective had returned. It is ONLY A GAME. The only way to improve is to practice and to use clubs which are set up for you and not someone else. Enjoy the walk, enjoy the company and most of all DO NOT take things seriously.

I am now looking forward to my next game but in order to improve my mental attitude it’s a visit to the bar first for a couple of pints; well it worked on Thursday.

.

My Favourite Course - Part 2

I have described the front nine holes at Padstow crazy golf course, now I tackle the back nine.

When the kids were little the 10^th hole had a large stone, which acted as a sort of roundabout; the course went downhill around its edge and did almost full 360 degrees. In the top of the stone was a sword. It would appear that the true King has been found as the sword is no longer there. We did see David Cameron in Padstow a couple of years ago and was that a hacksaw I saw poking out of his bag?

The whale hole is slightly disturbing. There are 3 routes to the hole. You can knock the ball down a step either side of the whale and then through a gap between its tail and the side wall. The gaps are only just wider than the ball so these routes are not easy. The third route is into the whale’s open mouth. The ball emerges from the whale’s bottom in a direct line with the hole. I’m sure that I’m not the only one that finds small round, multi-coloured turds emerging from a whale’s anus disconcerting.

We are now firmly on the home stretch. This hole takes us down a level quite literally. You play down a slope and round a corner to the hole, but that isn’t the end of it. The hole leads to a pipe which deposits the ball into a bowl about 4 feet lower than where you’re standing. The ball swirls round and round and eventually ends up in the cup; unless you are very, very unlucky. We cheat here the score is always marked as a 2 unless a lucky bounce sends the ball down the tube for 1.

You would think that a waterwheel hole would be enormous fun. Aim at the wheel, it would rotate and deposit your ball near the hole. Unfortunately that isn’t the case here. The wheel is at the side behind a chimney and there is a bridge across the width of course. The ball can either go under the bridge or up and down a ramp at the side. It’s still fun as missing the gap seems to be de rigeur.

The 14^th hole used to have a ramp up to an outsized clown’s head; the idea being to get the ball through the clown’s mouth. This was thought of a being too scary for the kids so it has been replaced with the head of a Cyberman; not scary at all. If hit correctly this usually ends up being a hole in one. On our last round this holiday all 5 of us scored a hole in one.

Remember Hotwheels and the loop for the cars? This hole has a loop made from a tyre. It’s impossible to get a hole in one using the tyre. If you aim through the tiny gap between the loops it’s feasible but the odds of Martians landing at Wembley are lower.

Everyone loves the 16^th hole.  It starts of uphill for about a foot then drops down to a strange configuration. There are 3 holes the ball can go down; all leading to a central channel. By the holes there are channels to the left and right. The right hand channel is a no no as the ball has no chance of going in the hole. The left hand channel has a good chance of a hole in one; however it enters a tunnel on the way and can divert to come out where the right hand channel emerges.  Good fun is had by all on this one as attempts to get to the left hand channel can result in the ball disappearing off the hole and down the hill.

 

 

There is a knack to this hole. It is an undulating hole; there are several peaks and troughs before reaching a flat bit. Not unlike some real greens I’ve played. The trick is to aim the ball to hit the concrete edge of the course just as it widens out close to the hole. This technique has scored me many holes in one.

At last we reach the final hole which is a castle that has seen better days. There is a dry moat crossed by a rickety drawbridge. Once over the bridge the ball goes through the castle straight towards the hole. Well that’s the theory. In practice the concrete surface takes the ball in any direction except towards the hole.  We usually end up with a 2 here.

That’s the end of the tour of Padstow golf course. On our holiday this year we have played nearly every day; which is expensive for 5 of us. We have had fun though; killing ourselves laughing at the cheats that have gone on, the excuses for restarts and the seemingly impossible holes in one. This is a fun course and I would recommend everybody should play it and never, repeat never, take it seriously. Cheating is half the fun. There is also a café here and it has the best view of any café in Padstow. You are high up and can see the harbour and look south down the Camel estuary. The view is worth the price of playing on its own