Reluctantly ill and a loss of inspiration

It's been a while since my last blog. Unfortunately I haven't been very well and have only just managed to play a round of golf.

It started in Dundee, I came down with flu like symptoms on the Thursday before I was due  to come home to go on holiday. The symptoms got progressively worse until one night I was so cold and shivering that my teeth were chattering. A couple of hours later I was burning up.

On the Sunday morning, I managed to see a doctor, who said I just had flu and should take paracetamol for the headaches.

I don't know how I manged to go to work, but as I was the only one on site, there wasn't really much choice and as I was going home on the Wednesday, I carried on. Wednesday came, and i drove 500 miles home and virtually went straight to bed. Next morning I dragged myself along to see my own doctor, who took one look at me and said she was sending me for blood tests. She decided to test for lots of things, including Weil's Disease and Legionnaires! I was prescribed some hefty antibiotics as a precaution. As we were going on holiday to Cornwall the next day, I asked whether I should go, she replied that there were doctors in Cornwall so I should be ok.

Next morning, at 6 o'clock we set off. Michelle drove all the way to Bodmin while I slept. At Bodmin we stopped for breakfast, after which I took over the driving for the last 20 miles. It was at this point my doctor rang saying my blood tests were 'all over the place' and asked Michelle if I looked yellow! Apparently my liver functions were wrong and I had tested positive for the Epstein-Barr Virus. This is the virus which causes Glandular Fever. We were told to see a doctor ASAP. Michelle then rang the local doctor's in Padstow, where we were staying and we went straight there. My doctor faxed across the test results and the local doctor examined me and said I should go to the hospital in Truro the following day for more blood tests.

Having spent the Friday resting, well dozing on and off, Michelle drove me down to Truro for my blood tests. These were done and we waited for the results. They confirmed the EBV but also showed that my liver functions were getting better and the general level of infection was down; the antibiotics were doing the job.

The rest of the holiday was a bit of a washout for me; I spent most of the time sleeping in the flat and going to bed at 9pm! I had hardly any beer; which, considering the nearest pub was 10 feet away and there are 5 more within 2 minutes walk is unheard of for me. By Wednesday I was feeling a liitle better and managed a few pints and was able to enjoy out last day on the Thursday before driving home on the Friday. We left early as I had arranged a hospital appointment for the Friday afternoon. This was because my Keratitis had flared up in my left eye, a nasty little viral problem which lurks waiting for the immune system to drop before striking.

Still feeling drained of energy, I went to see my doctor on the Monday morning, more blood tests were arranged and she signed me off sick for 2 weeks. The results had come back on the Weil's Disease test and were negative but she was still waiting for the Legionnaires results.

I have been steadily improving over the last couple of weeks and was even able to play a round of golf at the end of last week; however it did leave me knackered and I was hardly able to swing a club on the last 2 holes.

The above was written in September, I lost my inspiration at that point and so it has taken until now to complete the post.

Much has happened, a small amount of golf has been played, and a lot of just bat swinging. I've been back to Dundee a couple of times, indeed I'm writing this in my Dundee hotel. In between has been a trip to Belfast, a fabulous city where I had a great time. I've now completed the set and visited all four home countries, actually all four home capitals. If you ever get the chance, go to Belfast.

Unfortunately I've been up here for my birthday, mind you it means I can also have another birthday when I get home, an official birthday if you like, just like our own dear Queen, God Bless Her!

When I get back a trip down the driving range is required to build on my visit last week. I managed to hit the ball consistently straight, not far, but straight. I think I can remember what I was doing so I'll make sure and then try and put it into practice on the golf course, weather permitting.

I'll also celebrate my second birthday, unfortunately it doesn't come with a second set of presents, well at least I won't have to sit through a trooping of the colour!

How Albert Einstein helped me win, again!

I'm back in Dundee again, until early August when I got a whole weekend off before returning for another 3 weeks. Bugger! I thought I'd be home for the first game of the season against Bournemouth, ah well at least I'll get to the second home game as I'm on holiday then. I have played golf, last Monday just before I came up north. Ross was back from Scotland, so we set off for the club early; intending to get out before the Ladies competition started at 8.30. Unfortunately we had reckoned with out 'The Misfits' a group of about 20 retired members who generally have an informal competition about this time of day. Fortunately, they let us tee of first, unfortunately we were crap. My tee shot went 50 yards, the next 2 were just as bad and even Ross had a terrible start. We decided to pick up and walk on to the second tee, as we could feel the laser eyes in the back of our necks; we could always play the first hole at the end of the round, so we started properly from the second. My tee shot was perfect, the shot following equally so leaving me with just over 100 yards to be on the green in regulation. A par was beckoning me, but as I took my third shot it stuck up 2 fingers and ran away shouting 'Na na, nana na!' I finished with an 8. If I ever see that par again, I'll whack it with a 9 iron! The par 3 third saw me land on the green, that bloody par was living dangerously now, and my 9 iron was anticipating being used for something useful and with accuracy for a change. Alas the par eluded me, neatly sidestepping a right haymaker and ran off to the fourth. I finished 2 over. I almost drove the green on the fourth, the irksome troublemaker almost got his arse kicked but I missed with a creditable 1 over par 5. The fifth saw some creative scoring, where my ahem 'practice shot' scooted into the gorse 20 yards from the tee. Another 5 went on the score card. A further 5 ensued on the sixth where I hit another tremendous tee shot. I was becoming consistent, four 5s in five holes; it's a shame they were two par 3s and two par 4s. The seventh hole broke the monotony of scoring 5; I managed to keep my score to 11, closely followed by a 7 on the eighth. The par 3 ninth was an unmitigated disaster as was the tenth. The eleventh however saw me on the green in regulation, the par hadn't seen me coming, in fact I was on for a birdie, but the little sod saw me at the last moment and I ended up 1 over with yet another 5. I must have sent the par to sleep on the twelfth, again close to double figures, because I managed to catch it on the thirteenth, my tee shot landed on the green and I two putted. Hurrah! I put the par in my golf bag and closed the zip. I'll let it out later, somewhere well away from a golf course so it can't do any damage. With the elusive par safely under wraps, we finished the round relatively quickly. There was nobody waiting to start a round, enabling us to finally play the first hole. A totting up of the score left me with over 120 for the round, nearly 20 behind Ross who also had a bad day. I did, however, win on Stableford or the second time in a row! It just goes to show that Einsteinian physics using the theory of relative scoring, helps the crap golfer overcome that pesky Newtonian absolutism scoring method. I bet Isaac just used his superior knowledge of Maths and Latin just to beat his mates This, of course, assumes I have a handicap of 28, a trifle optimistic really, because my true handicap is called a 'Buzz Lightyear' or 'Buzz' for short, that's 'To infinity and beyond!'. Actually, even that's optimistic as I don't think they've invented a number system which goes high enough.

Back from Finland

I can't believe that I've been home from Finland for 3 weeks now! I had a wonderful time, a great place to be and it was fantastic to catch up with some old friends and to meet new ones.

I have managed to play golf since I got back but only one full round and to be honest most of it was rubbish.

Ross and I went out last Thursday evening and managed 8 holes. The weather had been changeable all day, sometimes bright sunshine, sometimes torrential downpour. When we set off at 5pm to go to the club it looked like the weather was going to be ok, unfortunately this proved not to be the case and thick battleship grey clouds filled the sky. We got wet, very wet, despite waterproofs, well waterproof jackets; I was unable to get the overtrousers on before it rained and then it became pointless.

We decided to play from the ninth hole a 214 yard par 3. It started badly, my tee shot was topped and ended up about 15 yards away, just past the ladies tee. Things didn't improve and I finished with a 7. The tenth proved even worse, a lost ball from the tee and many shots to the green I finished with a 1 putted 10. Ross had bought a new putter, an Odyssey, and it certainly seemed that I was about to perform my own Odyssey and take 10 years to get round the course! The eleventh was a slight improvement but on the long par 4 twelfth I scored 6 reaching the green in 3 before 3 putting and the short par 3 thirteenth was good too. I shalln't mention the fourteenth, except in passing, but on our last 2 holes I did really well, finishing with 5 on the the par 4 eighteenth.

This was the moment I had been waiting for, when the scores were added up I had taken 4 more shots than Ross but under Stableford he had scores 8 points and I had scored 9! Yes 9, I had won, finally I had actually won, and as he's now gone on holiday for 2 weeks and I will then be off back to Dundee for a month, I will remain champion for at least 6 weeks. Ross has gone to Scotland and will be playing at least once a day for the entire 2 weeks, this means when I go up to Dundee the clubs with have to come too so I can practice after work otherwise I will be well and truly stuffed the next time we play.

I arrived home soaked, but happy. Oh the vagaries of golf, you can play like a muppet but still walk away with a grin on your face, with memories of good shots (yes plural) and all the crap forgotten.

It's the Open qualifier on Monday, I wonder if I should enter?

New Bats and Ice Hockey

I have now taken possession of my new bats. I got back from Scotland a week earlier than I expected so I managed to pick up the clubs early, unfortunately I didn't get to use them for 2 weeks. It wasn't the spectacular success I was hoping for,infact I was playing considerably worse than normal. I finished the round on 132; not my worst round but certainly nowhere near my best either. It will also be some time before I am able to use them again as I have been sent to Finland on a job. I am back in Turku; a city I first came to 14 years ago. Although there have been changes, it's still the friendly place I remember. The company where I'm working hasn't changed much either; some of the people have gone due to retirement but my friends are still there and it's been good to see them and catch up. We're all a little older now but the friendship remains. The Ice Hockey World Cup is being held here in Finland and Sweden. We both love ice hockey and always take in a game when we visit, so watching the matches in bars and restaurants has been great. We are, of course, supporting Finland, who so far have won 5 of their seven preliminary games and lost 2, to Canada and the USA. Their quarter final game is on Thursday and will be against the USA again. Hopefully this time they'll win. The mascot for this year's cup is The Hockey Bird, a specially designed Angry Bird, they are everywhere, on T Shirts, hoodies, hats, keyrings, cuddly toys and even boxer shorts! Michelle has bought a cuddly keyring to hang off her bag and has sent Hockey Bird postcards home with Hockey Bird stamps! I've got a T Shirt. I'll be here for another couple of weeks and then I hope I get the chance to play with my new clubs again before heading back to Scotland. I really hope we get some more work out here soon, if not, we'll just have to come back on holiday.

April Fool

On Thursday I went to a fitting session for new golf clubs at Portsmouth Golf Centre. This was an interesting experience. I was taken to the end of the driving range where; behind a locked door, was a veritable arsenal of club heads and shafts. It was like entering an SAS firing range with a multitude of weapons to choose from. For a golfist this was like entering heaven.

For those unfamiliar with the process, it consisted of me hitting balls from a mat with various makes of club and the computer analysing what I was doing. A multitude of figures appeared on the giant TV screen and the flight of the ball was plotted also. I did some of my own analysis, replacing all the figures with a single word; crap! I did find a set of iron I could hit reasonably straight, however, and these turned out to be Yonex. The Callaways, Wilsons and Pings all looked good but I couldn't hit any of them as well as the Yonex. A slight adjustment of head angle was required but I did rather well with them. The Yonex driver also turned out to be the best for me. There seemed little point in buying a big name brand of clubs,which looked aesthetically pleasing, if all I could do was hit the ball onto an adjacent fairway. My new clubs were therefore ordered apart from the driver, which was available to be taken away immediately. I was now looking forward to Sunday and the chance to try it out.

Sunday was another glorious day, just right for whacking some golf balls. On Thursday I hadn't decided on a new putter, so I asked in the club shop if I could try out a few on the putting green. After about half an hour I was much poorer but in the possession of a very fine Wilson Vizor putter. It was now time to put my two new clubs to the test.

The new driver was duly put into action on the first tee. I took a practice swing, my new weapon feeling like it could wallop the ball for miles. The actual shot went low and slightly off to the right, fortunately hitting another golfists trolley which left it in the middle the fairway instead of in the trees. Not an auspicious start. On arriving at the green, however, my latest acquisition did the business with me almost sinking a 20 foot putt.

On the second I managed to hit a magnificent tee shot beyond the tree that splits the fairway; by far the best drive I'd done on this hole, my new big gun doing a marvellous job. I made a one over 6 on this hole with a pretty good putt. It was looking like the driver and putter were making a difference.

The rest of the round went very well,including 3, yes 3, pars! I managed to cock up the ninth, tenth and last 2 holes but finished on a best ever score of 107, translating to 31 points, again a best score, losing by only 2 points.

Reflecting on how well I'd done, in the bar later, I realised the date was the first of April; the whole round had been a joke! All those wonderful shots, magnificent putts were as nought, just a well timed jest from those pesky fairway fairies! Ah well, I'll have to see what happens when the new bats arrive. Unfortunately the clubs may not arrive until next week, when I'm due back in Dundee. I was hoping to have them before I went as there's a chance to play after work up there, mind you with all that snow it would appear to be unlikely.

It looks like The fairies' little joke will continue through April, and guess who's the fool?!

Springwatch

Today was golf day. Ross and I set off for the club about midday, the intention being to do some practice on the driving range and having a bacon buttie before starting our round. We figured that, due to the beautiful weather we have been enjoying the last few days, the course would be fully booked and we wouldn't get to go out until 3 o'clock. As we pulled off the main road and headed for the club we could see the car park was jammed full as we had feared. Resigned to waiting to get on the course we parked in the overflow car park.
We headed for the club house and found that all the cars were due to a private function in the club. Checking the tee time booking sheet confirmed that there were very few people playing we could go out any time we wanted. The good weather must have meant that many golfists had been forced to go to the garden centre by their wives. Ours had gone there together, thus freeing us to bat some balls.

The first two holes had mixed outcomes, I was awful scoring 9 & 10, Ross managed to par both holes. The third was eminently forgettable but the fourth was magnificent. This hole is interesting. The green is actually about 15-20 feet below the fairway and to the right. We decided to drive for the green. Ross went first, the shot flew towards the green but we were unable to see where it landed. I took my shot, it started off left and then went right, again we couldn't see where it landed. We walked down the path towards the green to see one ball just off the edge of the green about 40 feet from the flag. The other ball was on the green about 30 feet from the flag. I went to the first ball preparing to take a shot when Ross suggested I check the ball, it was his. I had actually driven the green! Ross took his shot and got close to the hole. I now had an eagle putt, yes an eagle putt! Unfortunately the eagle swooped down, shit on me, snatched the birdie and was last seen heading over the trees. Yes, I completely blew my putt, missed the next and finished with a par. I would have been happy with a par, now it felt like a bogey.

The next hole is a par 3. My tee shot stayed low, skimming the top of the gorse, or whin as it's called in Scotland according to Ross. It then scootered along the floor and rolled into a bunker. I finished with a 6. The first 9 holes ended with me scoring 62. I needed to improve to get below 120.

The 10th was atrocious, the 11th was much improved, a 1 over par 5. We now had the most difficult hole on the course. Ross said he was going to hit the ball to the left as his tee shots had been going to the right. The problem was if he hit it straight he said it would go into the gorse. I remarked that would be a whin win situation!

The rest of the round was better and I finished with 119, the same as last time. At least I'm not getting worse.

The only bad thing was Pompey losing to Coventry, still we've got Hull at home Tuesday and Burnley at home next Saturday.

The weather this week is supposed to be good, so I think another trip to the club is in order. I wonder if I'll see that eagle.

It's been a while since my last post, I've been in Dundee again and there hasn't been much golf. Actually I have now been home for three weeks as the next phase doesn't start until next month, but there has still been very little golf; well one round,a week ago.

I felt that I didn't play very well; but, considering my lack of practice, I didn't do too badly at all. I managed to get round in 119; which, all things considered, was pretty good actually. This has spurred me on and I went down to the driving range for some practice. There are 50 balls in a bucket, and so armed with a driver, a 5 iron, a 7 iron and a pitching wedge, I proceeded to try and knock all of them as far as I could for the respective club. First up was the driver and I loaded 10 balls into the automatic hopper. It took a few before I was hitting the ball anywhere near straight, or indeed any distance. After the remaining balls, I set about using the 5 iron, hitting the ball from the mat just behind the tee. The jolt of the club on the mat caused the automatic tee to retract and try and reload. To my surprise another ball appeared, which I placed on the mat. Thinking I must have miscalculated, I hit this ball. Again, another ball appeared on the tee. Time after time a ball reloaded after I made my shot. I couldn't have miscalculated that much; load 10 balls, hit 25! Eventually my apparently everlasting supply ran out and I had to resort to using the balls I had paid for. I can only assume some elderly golfer with Alzheimer's had forgotten what he had done and indeed why he was there and wandered off. Still, I had a good time and managed to hit the last few balls straighter than normal, but still not very far. Fired up by this I arranged to play on Sunday with Ross

Since I've been home Michelle has had various jobs lined up for me to do. Amongst them was to replace all the electrical sockets and switches in the kitchen. These were fitted during the house extension and were merely temporary white plastic ones, the idea being to fit screwless metal flat ones. Fast forward 4 years and I took them out of the garage and fitted them, annoying Matt a couple of times as I managed to short the neutral to earth and trip the RCD, thus ruining his gaming activities. The garage has also been cleared, with the help of James & Matt, leaving a lot more space.

The grass has been cut a couple of times, and tomorrow it's the turn of the loft to be cleared out. I've also been running Mum around to the doctor's a lot as she's got a heart problem, seemingly started by an infection. I certainly haven't been bored whilst at home.

It also looks like the date has been set for my trip to Finland, the first three full weeks of May. This will give me a chance to see some old friends from working there before and I'm really looking forward to it, especially as Michelle is coming with me for a while and also the Ice Hockey World Cup is taking place in Finland while we're there.

This weekend is also very crucial to Pompey. After Tuesday's brilliant win(well the second half)we have a must win game against Coventry who are only 2 points ahead of us. This is followed by 2 home games next week against Hull and Burnley. It's going to be an interesting run in, unfortunately I'll be in Dundee for our last 3 home games, but hopefully I'll be back for the away game against Nottingham Forest on the last day of the season. By then I hope that we have not only avoided relegation but liquidation too.

I shall continue blogging after Sunday; when, hopefully,I'll be talking about a magnificent win at Coventry and a sub 110 round of golf.