Today I made the luckiest shot I have ever done. It was on the par 3 thirteenth; I hit my tee shot which flew off at a 45 degree angle to the right, cleared the trees, bounced on the road and over the hedge, bounced in the car park, over the fence guarding the fourteenth tee and into the flower bed by the club house. ‘How is that your luckiest shot?’ I hear you say. ‘It didn’t hit anything’, I reply, nothing, no car, no person, it didn’t even hit the clubhouse, especially not the window. I couldn’t believe my luck. I played another ball and finished on a 7, thus scoring no points. I had started the hole with a four point lead and I said to Ross ‘This is where I snatch defeat from the jaws of victory’. I suggested that I would score nothing and he would get a hole in one. Ross had won the previous hole so he teed off. The ball flew straight towards the flag; from the tee it wasn’t possible to see the bottom of the flag, so as the ball headed for the flag it certainly looked like it was going in. The ball then reappeared rolling to the edge of the green. A birdie and we would tie. Ross hit a good putt but missed, finally making par and scoring 3 points. We weren’t playing any more holes, so I had won!
We had played on Thursday and I couldn’t hit a thing. On the range I duffed every shot; not one went into the air, with any club! I wasn’t much better on the course; fortunately we only played the last 6 holes, although we played the thirteenth last. Ross shot 10 shots less than me, winning every hole bar one. That one hole was the thirteenth; which we shared with a par each. It just shows that you can never tell how well you are going to play. I managed a par on the sixth today; I’ve never made par before, last time I hit 5 tee shots! Next time, who knows?!
I have also been busy off the golf course this week.
Ross and Tracey, are selling her family estate. Unfortunately the grounds are overgrown somewhat and require clearing before the house will sell. Ross solicited my assistance in carrying out this task, and so we set to on the back garden with a brush cutter. As we started cutting through the vegetation, a hitherto undiscovered species of hominid was found living in the undergrowth. They appeared to be making progress through the grass with what, for all the world, looked like gap wedges, or possibly pitching wedges. They were also hitting very small white spheroid objects as they went, accompanied by a loud cry in their language; which we later managed to translate as ‘fore’.
They didn’t seem best pleased as we cleared the area where their dead had been laid to rest. These were arranged so that family members would be buried in chambers next to each other. These chambers were laid out in a grid and were made of leather. Sitting down with them, over a flask of tea, we managed, via sign language, to discover much about them. They are a nomadic people who carry their dead around with them; this led us to classify them by their burial practice as ‘Golf bag’ people. Their clubs are used to help cut through the vegetation and also in hunting, by hitting the small white balls at their quarry. I did manage to pick up a couple of tips, especially on bunker shots, which I put into practice today.
On Tuesday I have an interview. The job is in Chichester and is permanent night shift, but it’s a job and looks very interesting. At least it will leave weekends free and I’ll be able to go to the football. I went yesterday, but we lost 1-0. It’s beginning to look like more of the same this season.
Never mind, I’ll be off to play golf again on Thursday. Hopefully I’ll get another lucky shot, this time for the right reasons.
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